The Ultimatum: Queer Love (Part 1): My Reactions and Review

I don’t keep up with what Netflix is releasing each month, but when I saw that The Ultimatum: Queer Love (TUQL) was released, I nearly squealed with delight. If you don’t know what The Ultimatum (TU) is, it’s a show on Netflix about couples where one partner has given the other an ultimatum: marry me or we’re done.

I didn’t expect to like the show as much as I did, but I am a serial reality dating show watcher. It’s not my finest habit, but a guilty pleasure nonetheless. Shows like this have historically featured White, cis-het, conventionally attractive people and when there is a Black person (mainly women), they’re almost always disrespected. However, I keep watching, and TUQL is no exception. If you haven’t seen the original TU go watch it and then come back so we can properly compare notes at the end of it all.

Since you’re here, I am assuming you’ve seen at least seen the first four episodes of TUQL, if you haven’t stop reading and go watch it. But if you have, what a ride, am I right? I will be providing some of my live reactions while watching each episode and some commentary and then my full review at the end. Let’s get started:

Episode 1: I literally adore everyone except Vanessa. When I found out she was from NJ, I immediately cringed. I was born and raised and I can tell you right now, no one is going to claim her. I don’t have much reaction to this episode because I was just trying to remember everyone’s names, but here are the couples:

Lexi & Rae

Vanessa & Xander

Yoly & Mal

Sam & Aussie

Mildred & Tiff

Episode 2: I don’t want this to become a Vanessa slander post, but the editors have given me so much content. When Lexi read her for filth I cheered because how delusional can you be? Also, she knew damn well she was just on the show to date as many women as possible. Like what do you mean “if you do get rejected by me” (Minute 23:47), Lexi is clearly disgusted with you!

But other people: I think Aussie is the cutest. Xander and Yoly’s connection seems purely sexual and I feel like it’s only because she’s getting zero from Mal. However, I really love Mal. Mal is top tier and their need to want to be more financially secure before getting married is valid. Apparently, most married couples argue/divorce over sex and money. Yikes, seems like they have both of those issues (and more) and they’re not even married.

I think Tiff & Mildred are done and it’s not even episode 3.

Okay, no one likes Vanessa. She’s an influencer and that explains it all. Sorry. Not her giving Xander an ultimatum and telling her not to talk to Yoly because she hasn’t been nice to her. Xander deserves better. Also, I didn’t see ONE single tear fall.

During The Choice, I was not shocked by Vanessa’s outburst because she’s classless, but I was taken aback when Mal mouthed ‘I don’t know about that’ in regards to Xander talking about Yoly.

Also, I think Xander has Stockholm Syndrome.

Episode 3: Of course, Rae and Vanessa chose each other, but all I could hear when Vanessa was talking was “me, me, me.” I would just like the record to show that I peeped Vanessa’s cards at the door.

I adore Mal and Lexi. Full stop.

Mildred and Aussie almost made me cry.

Vanessa smiling and gawking the entire time Tiff and Mildred were crying was very… telling, but we already know she’s a trash human so it’s fine.

After ‘The Choice’ the couples moved in with their newly chosen partner: seems like a recipe for disaster, but the perfect opportunity for them to fall out of love.

To Recap, here are the new couples:

Rae & Vanessa

Xander & Yoly

Mal & Lexi

Aussie & Mildred

Tiff & Sam

After the couples settled in for the night, it was interesting to watch their new dynamics. It’s still too early to tell what’s going to happen (I can usually predict these things) but here’s my brief rating of the couples at the end of episode three:

I adore how easy it is for Mal & Lexi. They seem so comfortable with each other. 8/10

Rae & Vanessa are not it. Rae seems uncomfortable and Vanessa makes me uncomfortable. 0/10

Xander & Yoly’s chemistry is four hot chili peppers out of five. 8.4/10

Aussie & Mildred are interesting and I need more information 6/10.

As soon as Sam said something to Tiff about the dog potentially smothering her legs it was over. 3/10

Episode 4: I wasn’t supposed to watch all four episodes in one sitting, but I did.

Rae still seems very uncomfortable around Vanessa, but maybe she’s just very…reserved?

Xander and Yoly are holding steady at four hot chili peppers.

I still need more information on Mildred & Aussie, they seem like friends.

I knew the dog was going to be an issue with Tiff and Sam and it’s not even week two of living together. I lowkey feel that Tiff may have been projecting a little bit because she’s still butthurt about Mildred.

I’m not sold on Mildred and Aussie. Aussie still isn’t thinking about marriage and it's clear.

That dinner with Tiff and Sam started off so awkward, but I love that they’re being mature and owning up to it. 10/10.

I would be a happy woman if I never had to see Vanessa on my screen ever again. Like Rae, girl… please. Vanessa is a walking red flag. However, Rae does not know what she wants and Vanessa knows what she doesn’t want (monogamy/marriage) so maybe they need each other for character development.

Mildred & Aussie… Whew. Is Aussie really having dinner with friends and Mildred is at home cooking and cleaning? Like she doesn’t even get a doggy bag? Yikes.

Rae and Vanessa are STILL not it. Rae crying about hurting Lexi makes it clear that those feelings are still there, but I am not sure where I stand on that yet because they did date for like three years.

Aussie isn’t feeling it. I should not be laughing at their demise, but yikes.

When Yoly asked what value Vanessa was bringing to Xander’s life and her not knowing? I yelled. I really hope Vanessa gets the help she needs.

Vanessa said, “I’ve just been so blessed with these people who don’t ask much of me.” Babe, it’s because they know you can’t deliver. I think I’m starting to feel bad for Vanessa.

I’m convinced confrontation gives Aussie heartburn, she looks so uncomfortable at the dinner table.

They are tag teaming Vanessa and I am here for it.

The last episode and the previews?

I need to know what triggered Aussie so badly that she packed her bags like the apartment was on fire.

I honestly believe that Xander still has Stockholm Syndrome and may end up with Vanessa because they were together for four years and you don’t stay with someone like that for that long unless you like it.

Mal & Lexi are losing first place fast.

Sam and Tiff are...TBD. I’m just not liking them together right now.

Vanessa and Rae are still in last place where they’ve been the entire time.

My totally biased review of the first four episodes: 9.25/10

TUQL feels more serious than TU with the couples having more genuine concerns about marriage, with the exception of that woman. I am invested in the relationships as opposed to TU where it was honestly just entertainment because I didn’t feel like they were taking it seriously. I get it, it’s a reality dating show on Netflix of all places, but you have to give the people something to work with, y’know? I feel like these first four episodes of TUQL delivered the right amount of substantial drama and I am excited for the last few episodes.

See you back here on May 31st.

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