Dearest Diary - December 14, 2025

When I tell you I’m not even joking about the nervous ticks, are they nervous ticks? I literally had to get out of the habit of checking Instagram every five seconds. I deleted the apps and paid for a yearly subscription to dumbphone. The minimal aesthetic took some getting used to, but when I realized I only used a few apps every day, I thought to myself, "Oh, this is actually great.

Record scratch

I just realized I have not set up my newsletter, so likely no one will see this unless they're checking my site. If that’s the case, hey! Worst-case scenario, this’ll be good for me to look back on in a few weeks. My first few days have been filled with me LOCKED into revisions for May is Due South (MDS).

If you're new here, MDS is my current work-in-progress, and it’s about a woman who seeks a dollar house in a southern coastal town after being evicted from her NJ apartment. It’s been a ball to say the least. To give you some background, I drafted it in April and started revisions back in October. It is now December. I fully recognize that, but there was a block. Y’know, there’s always a block…

Part of me thinks it was the fact that Churchbred has not been received well in the query trenches. It was also around the time I was doubting my short stories and my writing in general. I go through phases where I think everything I write is absolute shit. Sometimes it lasts for hours, sometimes weeks. This one lasted about a month. But there was something wrong with the story. Something I couldn’t name and didn’t name until my friend Melissa, who provides editing services under Dark Grove Press. She took one look at the first chapter and was like...who cares?

She didn't actually say that, but kinda. Her advice made me reconsider the opening that I had previously taken out because I thought we didn’t need it. I also made some pretty big changes to my MC's path. So it was the best thing I could’ve done because I actually started making progress. If you’re not new here, you know about the many devices I use to keep track of things. Yes, I have my revision bingo AND word tracker, and I’ve just been checking off all the boxes. Is it also because I’ve already purchased my reward for finishing this round? Yes. Do I really want to open it? Also, yes.

Those pesky red bubbles telling me I haven’t checked something? Gone. I don’t see banking apps that remind me of how little I have in them, and I don’t see any missed calls or texts unless I check them. Is this a nightmare for everyone who tries to reach me? Yes, but I’m free!

It’s just a newer iMac. I’ve been using my cousin's old one, because I needed a bigger screen. I found myself squinting at my laptop screen, and okay, I do need to schedule an eye exam (mind your business). But, the iMac I’m currently using is from 2010 and is one my alma mater offloaded, and it somehow ended up for sale in my city at a used tech store. How odd. But as I said, it’s fifteen years old. Still runs like a charm, but I can't download a damn thing.

I refuse to run Linux or whatever the hell, so I got a 2019 from BackMarket (referral code below), a.k.a my favorite place to buy tech because I don’t buy brand-new anymore. It’s since been wrapped with a warning to open when I finish this round. So I am trying my hardest to get through this.

Ella Langley's ‘Choosin Texas’ is NOT helping because I keep wanting to dance, but I am hoping to finish by the end of the year. Actually, sooner than that, because I want to spend the last few days of December reading and reflecting.

I checked out ‘Royal Holiday’ by Jasmine Guillory, ‘Good Spirits’ by B.K. Borison, ‘Ghost Fish’ by Stuart Pennebaker, and ‘I’ll Be Gone for Christmas’ by Georgia K. Boone from my local library. AND I bought two books, ‘The Illusion of Power’ and ‘A Taste of Sin,’ both by J.L. Seegars. Technically, I only want to read the three holiday books before the end of the year, so I think it’s feasible.

Anyway, enough blabbering. I really need to get back to writing. I am at 35,000 out of an anticipated 70,000. We'll see where I pull these words from, because what the hell?

Please wish me luck. I’m gonna put my standing desk to good use. Also, if anyone needs to be de-influenced from buying one, find someone else. I love mine, and those people using an ironing board? Love that for them. I think it’s fine for anything, BUT tech. If you’re at your desk for a long time...just make the investment, babes. Be so for real. I’m rambling. I will check in at the end of the month.

BACKMARKET REFERRAL CODE: If you’re interested in getting $25 off your purchase on BackMarket, use my referral code – 22601a743988694f